This could be another post about mountain biking and how I really did well today while I was riding, hitting hills faster and harder than ever. How I rode two loops in a park for an hour and a half and by the time I finished felt like I could do more.
But it’s not about that.
Today, I hit another stepping stone. What this post is about is a trip to the store. Something routine and mundane. But this post is about what I found there.
My clothes have been droopy and baggy for some weeks. I look like I’m wearing my daddy’s clothing most of the time. So we went to a clothing store today. I’ve worn a mixture of extra large and large shirts for awhile that are button up. So, I went and started picking up large sizes from the racks. I thought a size down would be good.
I was wrong. They didn’t fit. I immediately told Lisa to pick out some mediums. They fit perfectly.
In a matter of months, I have went two sizes down on shirts. Tomorrow is my official weigh-in day. I suspect I should be around 182. I’m closing in on 180, a weight I was at when I was in the Army. In just a month to two months, I could be at 170 a weight I was at when I finished basic training and went to jump school.
There’s a part of me that can’t believe my weight loss is happening so quickly. There’s a part of me that’s even a bit scared by it. I am slowly, or quickly, transforming into a person I haven’t seen in 16 years. Trying out some shirts today that were just a tad tight, Lisa said, “You’ll grow into it.” I joked with her a bit that I don’t want to “grow” and she said, “You’ll lose more weight.”
I love that she has that much confidence in me. Sometimes, though, I don’t have confidence in myself. I see so many people talk about hitting plateaus, yet I have yet to hit one. There’s sometimes a part of me that asks, wow, what if I start binging on food all of a sudden? Then I stop myself and tell myself I’d catch that before it happens because you don’t gain 40 pounds of fat overnight.
But I still can’t help looking in the mirror and thinking that guy 40 pounds ago is still looking at me. I know he’s not. I can see it in my neck that looks scrawny to me all of a sudden. I can see it looking at my biceps and seeing muscles there I haven’t seen in years.
Now I guess it’s time to grow into those shirts just a tad bit too small. It’s also time for something else. Cleaning out the drawers and the closet. There’s a lot of clothes in there that don’t fit anymore. Some will go in the garbage, some will go to Goodwill, some will be shipped into a box to someone else who might be able to use them.
I’ve hung onto those big clothes for too long. It’s time to get rid of them.
And never wear them again.